


Victa

by mansikka



Series: The Last of the Dying Sun [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Demons, Flashbacks, M/M, Missing Alec Lightwood, Missions, POV Magnus, The Clave (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Worried Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-06 12:09:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13410966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: Magnus wakes with a sense of foreboding to find Alec preparing to leave for a mission, convincing himself it is all in his mind. But when Alec doesn't answer his messages, and the Institute doesn't know what is happening, Magnus' fears for Alec's safety appear to be confirmed. With the Clave seemingly uninterested in searching for Alec and the others who are missing, should Magnus make plans to look for Alec himself?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :) here's a three part Malec that I'll be posting every couple of days until it's done. There are, sort of, three different stories here making up the longer one, which is why I've split it that way — it won't probably make a massive amount of sense reading the parts individually though!
> 
> There's politics, pining, worrying, some horrible people that you're probably going to really dislike (they deserve it!), as well as fluff, friendship, and maybe quite a few oh, fuck moments. And there's of course Malec, in all kinds of forms.
> 
> Okay, so for part one: there's a lot of worried Magnus and a lot of missing Alec, which means there are some flashbacks scattered throughout. Enjoy :) x

The air in their bedroom felt more still than usual, an odd sensation of misplaced peace to it that Magnus acknowledged mere seconds after allowing himself to wake. He stretched a little, certain of the beating heart in the chest where his head was pillowed, the strong, steady arm thrown around his shoulders tucking him in tight. And the smile that would greet him after he’d said his good morning, Magnus thought, tilting his head just enough to listen for it, waiting for the blinking open of soft hazel eyes.

But the softness against his cheek was not of cherished skin, instead the silk of the gold sheets covering their bed. And a stretch of his arm out against those sheets hoping to come into contact with Alec found nothing but the coolness of no one having laid there for a while.

Magnus lifted his head in confusion, waiting a moment or two just to check Alec hadn’t gently slipped out from beneath him to use the bathroom, not wanting to disturb him from his sleep. When Alec’s expected footfall did not return to him, Magnus rolled over, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed and standing with a stretch. He summoned a robe from its hook on the back of the door, letting it glide over his arms and settle before knotting its cord around his waist. And as he walked out into the loft, Magnus let out the fearful breath he’d not realized he’d been holding, as Alec’s silhouette in the kitchen caught his eye.

"Good morning," he called, with Alec spinning immediately, already fully dressed in the attire he usually wore for missions, the thigh holster that always caught Magnus’ attention already secured.

"Good morning," Alec smiled, pivoting back to the counter to pour coffee, then turning back to Magnus as he approached and pulling him into his arms.

"You couldn’t sleep?"

"I got a call," Alec said, leaning in to kiss him, then lingering there for a few extra seconds with an appreciative hum.

"Oh?"

"There’s a… we’re not sure what it is, actually," Alec sighed, settling his arms low around Magnus’ waist. "There were reports of a rift opening off the coast of Brazil yesterday. Nothing serious—"

"Then why—"

"Nothing serious _yesterday_ ," Alec amended, with a pinch smile. "But reports this morning say there’s a demon breach that’s getting out of control."

"But you’re in New York," Magnus protested, knowing it was a selfish thing to want to shield Alec from any unnecessary work or harm, and not caring in the slightest. His stomach was already knotting with the thought of Alec going on a mission of any sort, but without even hearing the details of this particular one, Magnus was left cold with irrational fear.

"I am," Alec agreed, lifting up a slice of buttered toast and holding it there until Magnus took it from his fingers then took a bite. "But there’s Institutes from all over South America already working on this, and their resources are already overstretched. This rift is about 300 miles northeast of the port of Fortaleza; the nearest Institute to that is in Ceará, who first reported it, but they’re only small. Most activity for them and a lot of the other smaller places is coordinated through the biggest Institutes, like Minas Gerais, São Paulo, or Rio de Janeiro, but there’s—I guess we got caught off guard with how many demons there are on this one. It sounds bad, Magnus. I—"

"Alexander—"

"I was gonna bring you breakfast in bed before I left," Alec added, gently nudging Magnus back so he could rinse through a knife and plate suggesting he'd already eaten, and drawing his attention to the tray on the counter by his side. "I know you said you had an early morning—"

"Tell me you weren’t about to leave without telling me," Magnus pleaded, reaching out to snag his fingers in Alec’s shirt, an urgent need to keep touching him controlling his movements, needing the reassurance of Alec’s warmth.

"Of course not," Alec replied, leaning in and nuzzling against his cheek. "I was gonna bring you this before saying goodbye. Didn’t wanna wake you until I had to."

"Is there anything I can assist with?" Magnus asked, taking the second offered slice of toast. "If it’s a breach—"

"I’ll let you know," Alec nodded. "But I think they’ve got it covered—the rift, anyway, if nothing else. I don’t know, Magnus; I get the impression the Clave didn’t think it would get this big, and now it’s like they’re calling everyone in too late, but there’s no real coordination. I only know where I’m supposed to take my team; that’s it."

"You are organized, Alexander," Magnus praised, thinking of the effortless way the New York Institute ran under Alec’s command, the ease with which each mission seemed to be resolved, and the respect Alec had gained because of it.

"Have to be," Alec smiled, "like I said; I wasn’t gonna leave you without saying goodbye."

Magnus closed his eyes at the word _goodbye_ , letting out a sigh before he could hold it in. "Alex—"

"Magnus; don’t worry," Alec smiled, wrapping his arm around to pull him closer, thumb up to wipe away a crumb from the corner of his mouth. "I’ll be back before you know it."

But Alec’s soothing words and assured voice did nothing to prevent Magnus’ heart from pounding, the irrational thought of losing him on some unknown battlefield proving too much, gripping tight to his chest and making it impossible to take a full breath.

"Alexander, I—"

"Don’t _worry_ ," Alec insisted, a little softer, a touch more affection in his smile as he crowded Magnus up against the counter, cupping his face. "I’ll be back soon, okay? Go back to sleep. Though if you can open me a portal, I—"

Alec’s words came to a stop with a flourish of Magnus’ fingers off to their side, his other hand still gripped hard at Alec’s waist as he stared back at him, telling himself he was not memorizing Alec’s face. "I cannot sleep knowing you are—"

"I’ll be fine," Alec said again with another kiss for him and a quick squeeze of a hug, though the set of his jaw and shoulders spoke of already being a soldier, his mind planning strategies and his thoughts firmly elsewhere.

"Be safe. I love you," Magnus urged with a brief squeeze of his fingers, and as Alec walked towards the portal, each pace away quickened the beat of Magnus' heart.

"I love you," Alec nodded, turning to look at him once more with a confident smile, then turning from him again and stepping through the portal. Magnus stared at empty air just seconds later feeling cold, worried, and with no shred of tiredness that could take him back to bed. He stood beside the tray of breakfast food forcing his way through it in tiny bites of the toast and carefully prepared fruit and yoghurt that felt like they were lodging in his throat, washed it all back with coffee, trying to convince himself out of his troubled mood.

* * *

After taking a shower, and making the process of choosing his clothes, jewelry, and make up far longer than necessary, Magnus forced himself from the apartment to begin his day, with one final glance at his cell phone just as he closed the door behind him, already willing Alec to call. He had a meeting with three warlocks to assist in settling a dispute between them, and an appointment with a supplier of several of the ingredients needed for spells he needed to perform that week. Further ingredients to buy for four potions that he would spend most of the afternoon preparing, and a dozen other minor things typical of his usual days.

Magnus had arranged additional appointments with two of his clients by mid-morning, and dropped in to see another after a frantic call had him portaling reluctantly to the other side of the city. He answered a text from Luke arranging to visit he and Alec at the weekend, keeping his voice easy and full of interest for their plans without mentioning Alec’s mission, yet couldn’t rid himself of the unsettled feeling in his stomach, his morning both deathly slow and racing by far too fast.

Lunch became a couple of mouthfuls of a sandwich he had no appetite for and a mug of tepid coffee, abandoned to stir some difficult ingredients for one of his potions, and staring at the screen of his cell phone. He talked himself into not contacting Alec for another hour, reasoning that there would be no way for Alec to answer if mid-mission, before finally caving and sending a quick message that he worded and reworded several times to come across as casual before hitting send. Then stared at the screen for several minutes, pleading for a notification of a message back to appear.

Magnus sighed, muttering to himself under his breath for being ridiculous, pouring all his attention into the rest of the potions he was working on, and absolutely not glancing at the time. Every notification on his phone made his heart first skip then drop for not being from Alec, and as he glanced up towards the balcony seeing the sun begin to set, Magnus convinced himself Alec would be home in a couple of hours as normal, and would affectionately reprimand him for being needlessly concerned.

He thought about preparing dinner, and Magnus first snatched up his phone from the table so any calls or messages wouldn’t be out of earshot, then crossed the apartment to the kitchen, ducking to peer in the fridge, then reaching up to look through the contents of their cupboards, and finding little that he felt like preparing anything with. Magnus settled on the idea of conjuring take out once Alec was finally home, justifying that he could have food there in seconds, and Alec might be tired after such a difficult day, so as little effort on his part would be nothing but welcomed.

The moon taunted Magnus for its lazy climb across the sky overhead, with Magnus doing his best not to glance at the actual time on his phone each time he retrieved it from his pocket to check if it was still working, had accidently been muted, or if he’d just not heard a notification of a call or text. Magnus made it until eight o’clock before calling Alec, pressing the cell to his ear with false confidence, and fixing a sickly smile on his face as he waited for him to pick up. But when it rang out repeatedly then went to voicemail his heart began stuttering, and without pause Magnus started redialing Alec repeatedly.

Pacing back and forth across the apartment pleading with himself not to panic, Magnus counted fifteen laps between the front door and the balcony before staring at his cell phone, begging it to ring. And after another half hour of trying Alec’s number every few minutes, Magnus fixed himself a drink which he didn’t taste as he slung it down his throat, then demanded that he _think_ , before making another call.

Izzy’s phone went straight to voicemail, and both Clary’s and Jace’s rang out before doing the same. He had no other numbers for anyone at the Institute, and debated for a few seconds about contacting Maryse, then decided against it. Their relationship was better than it had been in the beginning when he and Alec had first got together, though they were still hesitant around one another when left alone; but Magnus loathed the thought of that awkwardness between them, and loathed even more the idea of making her worry unnecessarily, even if she was his remaining contact within the Clave.

After another session of frantic pacing Magnus called every number again, making twice the number of calls to Alec with his heart racing increasingly faster. But by ten, when neither those calls nor his hasty text messages were answered, Magnus sank to the couch with his head in his hands, trying to control his thoughts, telling himself to breathe.

" _Alexander_ ," he whispered out loud, swirling his thumb over Alec’s face on his phone screen, telling himself not to worry, with a reminder of all the times Alec had come home late because of getting delayed on missions; telling himself it was no different on that occasion, and that he was making a fuss over nothing.

Magnus pictured going to bed and sleeping curled up in a ball on his side, with Alec slipping in the bed behind him and gathering him up tight, pressing kisses up the length of his neck and apologizing for being delayed. Of whispered intentions of not going into work the next morning so they could have a few hours together, and words reminding Magnus just how much Alec loved him; perhaps being urged over on to his back so Alec could show him some of that love.

But then thoughts of a fitful night tossing and turning had Magnus gasping and shaking his head in denial, calling Alec’s cell phone once again. He squeezed his eyes shut as it went unanswered, pressing the end of the phone against his temple for a couple of seconds in an attempt to compose himself, then standing abruptly, deciding on a quick portal to the Institute to check for himself.

The Institute was colder than Magnus was used to, far quieter than he’d ever heard it on any of his visits. What looked like a skeleton staff lingered around monitors, weapons stations, and trolleys of what appeared to be first aid equipment, the evidence of which made Magnus feel particularly sick for the thought of wounds that Shadowhunters couldn’t heal with their steles by themselves.

With so few people present compared with normal, Magnus made his way down the hallways of the Institute for Alec’s office, expecting at least Raj to appear out of nowhere, demanding to know what he was doing there wandering alone. When no such interruption appeared, Magnus found himself outside Alec’s door, stomach churning as he stood there debating about knocking first, then swinging it open a little harder than necessary and stumbling through.

Alec’s desk was untouched, the photo frame of the two of them together tilted just enough from its usual position for Magnus to be able to picture Alec picking it up to look at just before having to leave for the mission. He’d belatedly wondered how the Shadowhunters of the New York Institute would get to wherever the rift had been without one of his own portals, then realized that the local High Warlock must have opened the portal themselves. But Magnus still felt residual anger that in his sleepiness in the morning, he’d not offered to be the one to help with that portal, knowing it could have bought him an extra precious few minutes with Alec; perhaps even a moment alone with him in that very office, ignoring the word _goodbye_.

Magnus glanced around the room again, taking a couple of steps forward to pick up that photo frame himself, then returning it to its rightful place. Alec’s tablet sat next to a pad of paper with his familiar print leaving himself a note to check up on an order of equipment, but nothing else was there to grab Magnus’ attention, or give any clues to Alec’s whereabouts.

Finally, after staring around the eerily silent office for another moment, Magnus made his way back out to the main floor, squaring his shoulders in more confidence than he was feeling, and approaching the first Shadowhunter he came across.

"Can you tell me what’s happening with the demon attack?"

The woman startled at the sound of Magnus’ voice, spinning with wide eyes until she recognized him and visibly began to relax.

"Magnus," she said: Daisy, Dorothy, Diana—normally he was so good with names—but in that moment his mind had no capacity for anything but Alec.

"Apologies, I—"

"Don’t worry," she replied with a tight smile, nodding, turning and gesturing for him to walk with her.

"Have you heard anything?"

"Only from the briefing we had this morning before they left."

"Which was what?"

"That a demon breach of previously unknown numbers had been detected off the Brazilian coast, and that until they got those numbers under control, it was an all-hands-on-deck kind of deal."

"So—"

"A few of us were asked to stay behind to continue with our usual duties," she smiled, already anticipating his question. "Thankfully it’s been a quiet day; there’s only about a quarter of the Shadowhunters we normally have here."

"And has there been any news?" Magnus asked, trying not to shuffle on the spot or show impatience for her answer.

"Only that the rift was sealed earlier by Marcia Cardoso, the High Warlock of Minas Gerais."

"Do we know what kind of demons?"

"We don’t," she replied, shaking her head. "We were expecting to hear back from someone long before now; at the moment we’re all just continuing with our work, trying to keep things going until we know what’s happening."

"If there’s anything I can do," Magnus offered feeling helpless, debating staying in the Institute himself until Alec returned.

"I honestly don’t know," she said, her mouth curving up into a smile of sympathy. "I imagine you haven’t heard from—"

"Not a word," Magnus said, cutting her off before she could say Alec’s name, foolishly convincing himself it would somehow jinx the situation if she did.

"You must be worried," she said, with even more sympathy.

"Oh," Magnus replied, hand up to his ear cuff and pinching hard as he tried to appear carefree, "I know Alexander can take care of himself. However—"

"I’d be worried too if it was my—if it was me in that situation," she told him, and her sincerity put a sting in Magnus’ eyes.

"Well," he said, unconsciously bowing a little as he pasted another false smile on his face. "Thank you so much for your time. I shall return home; but if—"

"I’m sure you’ll hear anything before we do," she said, soft laughter in her voice, "but of course; if I see him, I’ll tell him to contact you."

Magnus nodded in thanks and took a few paces away before conjuring a portal to their silent, empty home, already pacing in his mind, and chiding himself for irrational worrying all over again.

* * *

With another martini sipped at but not tasted, Magnus once again glared at the screen of his phone, willing a notification of a message or an announcement of a call. His eyes drifted unwillingly over the time in the corner of the screen declaring it was already past midnight, and the events of the day rushed back at Magnus; his worry, bold and brash, interspersed throughout the mundanity of his typical daily routine.

There was no reason for him to be worrying like he was, Magnus reminded himself, trying to recall each occasion when Alec had been home late from a mission or too much work. Neither of them worked in roles that meant regular days or promised hours, and Magnus knew there had been several occasions when he’d unintentionally caused Alec worry himself. But that sinking feeling of dread that had been taunting him since opening his eyes that morning would not give him peace, instead whispering worst case scenarios about the most unpleasant of things.

That Alec was a soldier was never a fact that was lost on Magnus; it was hard to avoid it for the steely glint in his eye when discussing missions, or the wounds he sometimes arrived home with that he’d not quite managed to find time to heal himself and turned over for Magnus to. That those occasions were infrequent Magnus attributed to Alec seeing less field action as Head of the Institute than a regular Shadowhunter, and the reminder of that always made Magnus feel selfish for being pleased about that aspect of Alec’s work if nothing else.

But with the apartment echoing around him for Alec not being there to fill it, Magnus’ efforts to put his mind at ease proved pointless, unable to avoid those whispers of all the worst things that could have happened to Alec; images of him injured, lost, or worse waiting for Magnus every time he closed his eyes.

Magnus threw himself through a shower, telling himself he’d find Alec waiting for him the moment he stepped out. Then that he’d have come home and gone straight to bed exhausted. Or perhaps was in the kitchen preparing them a warm drink before going to sleep. Magnus chided himself for the ripples of fear that made him stumble to a stop by the side of their bed when none of those scenarios played out.

The pajamas Alec always said he liked seeing him wear when too cold to sleep without them Magnus slipped in to, wrapping himself in a robe then padding back out to the kitchen, deciding a hot chocolate might be just the thing to convince him to try sleeping. He purposely left his cell phone in the bedroom charging by the socket closest to his side of the bed, so that he’d have an excuse to check it when back in the room. He snatched up a book at random on passing a bookshelf, and wouldn’t allow that glimpse at the phone until he was tucked up beneath their blankets, convinced he could smell Alec there.

A lack of notifications had Magnus’ stomach dropping, but he sipped slowly at his drink and told himself to ignore his phone, rereading the same three lines at the beginning of the page and not absorbing a single word of them, starting and restarting until frustration had him knocking the book from his lap to the bed. He snatched up his phone, scrolling through pictures of Alec, their previous messages, then when that did nothing to help, all the social media sites he pretended he had no patience for, until his chocolate was drained, and he'd refreshed all the pages until his eyes blurred.

Magnus left to use the bathroom, spent almost twice as long as he normally would brushing his teeth to kill some time, hesitating before going back to the bedroom, and denying the soft sob escaping from his lips when still nothing waited for him on his phone. And with a defeated groan he slid back into bed, tucked the covers up beneath his chin, and demanded to himself that he at least try to sleep.

* * *

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

_"Hold still, Alexander."_

_Alec huffs under his breath and Magnus has to hold in a laugh; Alec’s lips are turned up into an adorable pout that Magnus lasts five seconds of pretending he’s ignoring, then leans in to kiss away, the magic he’s conjured to treat Alec’s wound fading out as he gets distracted._

_"I was holding still," Alec grumbles, and Magnus hides his face in his neck for a moment, then straightens up, and reaches out to grip his waist before stepping back._

_"More still, then," he suggests, watching Alec sigh again, then flares more of his magic and turns it towards Alec’s torso. There’s a patch of skin on his side that looks as though he’s been scratched by a thousand tiny claws, and it’s infected; curving redness across Alec’s stomach and around his back up the length of his spine, the flesh between paling and beginning to turn green._

_"The stele didn’t even touch it," Alec says, eyes down and watching Magnus’ fingers flex in front of him, and turning when directed so he can treat the wound on his back._

_"Of course; not all demon attacks are that simple to treat."_

_"Feel like I wanna rip my skin off from the inside out," Alec tells him, grimacing at a stronger flare of magic that Magnus mumbles an apology for; he needs to get deeper into the tissue for the way the infection is seeping into Alec, and though the poison from this particular demon isn’t lethal, he still needs to catch it before it spreads too far._

_"Just a few minutes longer, Alec."_

_"How’d you know about all this stuff, Magnus?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Like… how’d you learn how to recognize what kind of wounds are from what demons, and… how to treat them?" Alec asks, rephrasing his question, letting out a little huff of discomfort as Magnus tries to stave off the creep of infection up the back of his neck._

_"Practice. Patience. The sharing of knowledge with other warlocks," Magnus replies, though it comes out absent; he wants to feed Alec’s curiosity as a distraction, yet also needs to concentrate on what he’s doing, since it’s a complicated process._

_"And like… you said when you were… when you were young—"_

_"Do I not appear young to you now, Alexander?" Magnus teases, and Alec huffs, interrupting his treatment by turning and ducking, and stealing a kiss before spinning back around._

_"You look beautiful to me, Magnus; you always do. However you look."_

_Magnus smiles at that; Alec’s never held back on such endearments since the first one spilled from his lips so long ago. It’s like he can’t help it, and Magnus has to wonder if that’s anything to do with the smile that creeps across his own face every time he hears them._

_"You do," Alec repeats in a softer voice, and Magnus is distracted yet again by moving around to kiss him, pulling back feeling a little dazed. That Alec can still do that to him after so very many kisses is a thrill that Magnus often finds himself thinking about when he’s supposed to be doing other things._

_"Is this your way of distracting me from the fact that you missed dinner?" Magnus teases, darting his eyes elsewhere._

_"I kind of hoped getting injured might get me off the hook," Alec retorts with a grin, reaching out to grip around Magnus’ hips once he’s finished treating his wounds and drag him closer, humming against his mouth._

_"You are forgiven for circumstances being out of your control," Magnus tells him, "not for the fear you instill in me every time you neglect to answer your cell phone."_

_"Magnus—"_

_"Though I do not expect you to keep me informed at every stage of whatever… battle it is you a facing, a simple text, or fire message to let me know your limbs are all still attached would save me… these crow's feet beginning to crinkle my eyes."_

_"I love your eyes crinkling," Alec says, completely missing the point; purposely, Magnus knows, and narrows his eyes in a teasing glare._

_"Alex—"_

_"I love everything about you," Alec adds, sweeping his hands down from Magnus’ hips to cup his ass and pull them flush together, as the last of that demon infection is defeated, leaving Magnus’ hands completely free to slide up his back, and hold him equally tight._

_"I love you, Alexander," he says, the relief for having Alec home like a wave restoring breath to his lungs._

_"I love you," Alec whispers, kissing him. "I’m so sorry I made you worry."_

_"You are here now, and safe; that is all that matters," Magnus whispers, resting his head back in the crook of Alec’s neck and closing his eyes. "Do you feel like telling me about what happened?"_

_"In a little while," Alec replies, one hand spreading wide in claim over his ass as the other rises to cradle the back of his head. And he stares back at Magnus then as he tilts his head just enough to look up at him, then drops his hand to tangle his fingers through Magnus’, and gently tugs him towards the bedroom..._

Magnus woke with a start, fingers out and gripping the sheets as the tendrils of his dream drew away from him, rolling over fast to snatch up his phone. When there was still no word from Alec, Magnus jumped out of bed, getting ready in seconds and portaling to the Institute immediately, cursing at himself for having slept so long, even if it was only a little after eight.

The Institute had that same empty feel as it had the evening before, which Magnus decided was so much worse given the time of day. When he had visited the Institute at that time of the morning in the past it was generally teeming with activity. On this visit a few Shadowhunters gathered around a couple of consoles, while others appeared to be cleaning weapons and rechecking supplies, as though not sure what else they should do.

"Anything?" he demanded, storming up to the first Shadowhunter who happened to be in his path, arguing with himself to be calmer, when all he felt like doing was yelling pointlessly for someone tell him what was going on.

The Shadowhunter looked him up and down for a moment, confusion furrowing his brow. And when recognition crept across his features an air of mistrust lingered in its place; Magnus held his chin high and decided it was definitely not the time to care if a Shadowhunter he didn’t even know the name of might not approve of his presence, or even Magnus himself.

"No," the man said after a moment, a small blast of frustrated sigh puffing out his cheeks before he waved over Magnus’ shoulder then looked back at him. "We tried sending messages to the Minas Gerais Institute since they’re supposed to be coordinating the attack from there, but they’ve all gone unanswered. We tried Idris, but—"

"No one is answering there either?" Magnus suggested, scowling at the incompetence of those who had sent Alec and his team on their mission, and sending no word to those left behind.

"Not a thing," the Shadowhunter agreed, folding his arms tight across his chest. Magnus thought about asking that he receive a fire message the moment anyone heard anything, but assumed from the contemptuous look on the man’s face that his request would be ignored.

Magnus turned on his heel with a sharp, _thank you_ , creating a portal immediately and returning home. He tried Alec’s phone as he was pacing, cursing out loud when it rang out, then tried Jace, Izzy, and Clary unsuccessfully before calling Alec once again.

"Alexander; please answer. _Please_."

As he’d done for much of the day before, Magnus stared down at his cell phone willing Alec to call him back, to see a notification of a message; anything at all. He imagined Alec’s face staring at his own phone somewhere, torn between amusement and guilt for the countless number of missed calls. He imagined Alec passed out unconscious on some wide expanse of desert, cell phone inches from his fingers just out of reach. Of a deep valley where he could have tumbled to, cell phone ringing out and echoing in the air wedged between root, twig, and bracken, curious creatures crawling over it as it continued to call out unanswered.

"Please, Alec," Magnus said again, his words seeming to echo on the empty air of the apartment, slumping defeated for a few seconds on to the very edge of a chair, before springing back to his feet and resuming his pacing, determined not to listen to his doubts.

"Please," he whispered, and Magnus tried calling again, squeezing his eyes shut to block everything out, with his heart thudding erratically in between unanswered rings. But Magnus’ day wouldn’t wait for Alec to pick up his phone, and with an exasperated pull of his hair Magnus was asking himself to focus, conjuring a coffee from a favorite cafe of Alec’s to clear his thoughts, then making his way out the apartment once again.

* * *

Walking in to a long-scheduled meeting with the other High Warlocks of America in a glamored property in Connecticut had Magnus kicking himself, furious that in his fear for Alec, he’d not had the sense to call other warlocks to see if there was any news about the rift they might have heard. The list of apologies for those not attending the meeting were announced in a bored, monotonous voice, and Magnus flinched at the _Marcia Cardoso, High Warlock of Minas Gerais_ read out, giving himself a headache trying to remember if the two of them had ever met.

The second there was a break in their discussions he was calling the group’s attention, trying to see what the other warlocks had heard.

"It’s not really our issue," replied Kenton, the bored-sounding warlock chairing the meeting from the other side of the table, his indifference goading Magnus and forcing him to bunch his hands in to fists against his lap out of sight.

"A demon breach is our issue. It’s everyone’s issue," he retorted, staring around the table, and telling himself there wasn’t pleading in his eyes.

"The rift has been sealed. Marcia is apparently recovering—"

" _Recovering_?" Magnus demanded, heart pounding in alarm.

"It was a complicated breach that drained her of her magic; that is all," Kenton replied, his already red skin bristling with indignance for Magnus’ outburst of interruption.

"But—"

"She is with the Clave, Magnus. In Idris," Bertram, the meeting host added, staring Magnus down with clear disdain in his voice. "They are the ones that notified us of her absence here today. Apparently, she is… assisting."

"With what?"

"Identifying the demon? Treating wounded Shadowhunters? Who knows what they will want of one of us," Bertram replied, pushing against the table as though already preparing to leave.

But if she’s depleted—"

"Who knows what the Clave are asking of her?" Kenton replied with an impatient eye roll. "We received a fire message to advise she wouldn’t be attending this meeting, and little other information. Only what you have just been told."

"We—"

"Magnus," the Bertram replied testily, glaring at Magnus as though he loathed even having him there at the table, "our interest is not in the affairs of the Clave."

"But it is," Magnus insisted, "if there are still demons—"

"Then the _Shadowhunters_ , whose sole purpose in life is to protect the Shadow World from such things, will surely have the situation covered," Bertram countered, this time standing and calling their conversation to its end.

"But I haven’t heard anything," Magnus insisted, knowing how desperate his voice must be coming out.

"Neither have we. Though we do not share the same… _interest_ , in Shadowhunter politics, as you," retorted a warlock to Magnus’ left who he thought was called Marina, though her snooty look down her nose at him did not invite him to find out for sure.

"It’s not politics, it’s—"

"A matter for you to attend to in your own time," Bertram insisted, with a glower that said it was the end of the conversation. "Magnus; you are an important member of this council. Your efforts in the Downworld and contribution to all that we have are crucial to so much of what we do. I ask that you focus on the task in hand; discussing what is best for _us_ , not the Shadowhunters who are so determined to attempt to _rule_ us. Now, unless you have anything else to add to this meeting, perhaps we can take the short intermission this break was intended for, before getting back to the matters still remaining to be discussed."

Magnus sank back into his seat feeling reprimanded, far too incensed and worried to defend himself, and tried hard to concentrate on the murmured voices around him, too tense to even stand and stretch his legs. A quick glance around the table earned him sympathetic looks from more than half the assembled group, but not a word was said by any of them, and Magnus soon found himself alone.

* * *

When the meeting was finally over Magnus portaled immediately home, putting off checking his phone in the hope that the time that had passed since he’d last looked would ensure there would be some kind of update. But after succeeding in only putting the inevitable off for a couple of minutes, Magnus grit his teeth, and slid his cell phone from his pant pocket, holding his breath as his thumb hovered over the button to light up the screen.

Every alert waiting for him was for everything but Alec, and with a wail of frustration Magnus turned his eyes to the ceiling, breathing deep for a moment before thumbing through for Alec’s number and pressing the phone to his ear. He held his breath waiting for the call to connect, for the taunting tease of unanswered ringing, bile rising in his throat as the call went straight to voicemail instead.

" _No_."

Magnus slumped down hard on the couch, head held between his hands with his cell phone thrown in frustration across the room, a light cracking sound ringing out as it struck against an opposite wall. Alec’s cell phone ringing out unanswered was one thing, but to hear it go straight to voicemail hammered even further fear into Magnus’ heart; even if he tried to rationalize it probably signified nothing more sinister than the cell running out. But that foreboding feeling that had been sitting in his chest ever since Alec had stepped through that portal he'd conjured just a day earlier pulsed harder than ever, leaving Magnus calling out in despair, tears leaking down his cheeks unchecked.

He snapped his fingers to summon the cell phone back across the room, glancing at the crack in the casing and rolling his eyes, and snapping his fingers to fix it. After glaring at the screen, Magnus tried Alec’s number again, just to be sure he hadn’t been imagining the lack of answer, then scowled at the sound of it going to voicemail, though cradled the phone to his ear for the sound of Alec’s voice; even if only recorded.

A quick check on Clary, Izzy, and Jace was just as horrifying, each of their calls going to voicemail as well. His thumb hovered over the number for Maryse, staring at it for several long seconds before throwing it back to the couch cushions. Stuck for something to do, Magnus stamping across the apartment to the kitchen, snatching up a handful of grapes and some of the yoghurt-coated cashew nuts Alec had taken to eating, then summoning the phone to him again, and opening yet another portal to the Institute.

Magnus’ chest felt bruised from the thumping of his heart over the previous few hours, but to arrive in the middle of the Institute to a hive of frantic activity had him convinced his heart might actually stop, or leap through his skin. Wounded Shadowhunters stooped over with tiredness huddled to one side helping to heal one another, and others looking just as tired changed out of torn and dirty clothes into fresh ones as they snatched up new weapons in another.

"What’s happening?" he pleaded, though no one paid him any attention, and Magnus growled under his breath for a total lack of empathy, stamping his way through the hallways in search of Alec. He came to a sliding stop outside Alec’s office door, forcing the door open, finding it just as empty as he had the night before.

Running back through to the main hallway, Magnus thought he might sink to his knees in relief for the familiar sight of Clary’s flame-bright hair a little way ahead. She turned away before he could reach her, but just as he went to call out to her, Jace stepped in his eyeline, a thick gash across his cheek and dark circles under his eyes evidencing their mission, but otherwise looking okay.

"Where’s Alec?" Magnus demanded, balling his hands up before he could grip Jace and yell at him.

"Don’t know," Jace replied immediately, the worry on his face making Magnus’ stomach drop.

"What do you mean _you don’t know_ , Jace?"

"Magnus," Jace urged, eyes darting out around him as though checking for who else was present, or making a mental note of what still needed to be done. "There’s… it’s chaos out there, okay? There’s a ton of Shadowhunters unaccounted for. We’re not even really taking a count yet—"

"Why?" Magnus asked, appalled.

"Because we’re still fighting back these demons," Jace retorted sounding just as exasperated. "We’re overwhelmed, Magnus. It’s crazy."

Magnus grit his teeth, forced himself to suck in a few breaths, then gave a short, sharp nod, pulling him to one side. "Tell me what you know."

"The demons breached a section of what Mundanes call an oceanic rift valley," Jace sighed, finally giving Magnus his full attention, though he gestured for them to keeping moving, and his eyes continually darted around the control room as though seeking out Alec himself.

"Like the Mid Atlantic Ridge," Magnus replied, holding his breath at Jace’s nod in reply.

"Exactly. Only it’s not land, or magma, or whatever, that’s been spilling from this ridge— basically, out of this cave network in the middle of an island off the coast that’s like… miles from anything else."

"Demons," Magnus bit back with bile on his tongue.

"Yeah. Demons like… nothing I’ve ever seen before, Magnus," Jace replied, eyes a little wide in disbelief, "not even in any of the Lore, or in any of the books. There’s talk of a new realm of hell opening up—"

"Or one that was previously unknown being discovered."

"You think someone’s gone looking for this and just not said anything?" Jace asked, his eyes wide with surprise as though feeling Magnus’ words were an accusation.

"I know less than you, Jace," Magnus told him, shaking his head. "This is all mere speculation. And brings us no closer to discovering what has happened to Alec."

"He’s alive," Jace told him, soft though firm, patting over the parabatai rune through his shirt. "I mean; this doesn’t feel right, or good, or how it normally does. But I’d know it. I would. I’d know if it Alec was… if he wasn’t okay."

"And Clary? Izzy?" Magnus asked, sparing a thought for them belatedly and feeling a wash of guilt for it for a few seconds until his panic returned solely for Alec.

"Izzy’s still there," Jace replied with a slight grimace, "still fighting. Clary and I got sent back to ‘coordinate’ whoever’s left here, which isn’t many."

"And you’ll go back to where the breach is? The rift?"

"Yeah. Well no, the mainland, actually."

"But the rift is closed," Magnus insisted. "It is closed. Isn’t it?"

"It is."

"Then—"

"The numbers of these demons, Magnus," Jace said, shaking his head, shoulders dropping for a second before he forcibly squared them again. "Like I said. I've seen nothing like it."

"But—"

"And since this island’s so small, when we landed, there was barely enough space for us all from this Institute with everyone that was already there," Jace added, scowling at what Magnus had to think was a lack of organization. "That’s part of the problem; we were taken through a portal right to the point on the island where the demons came out, because we were told there was a concentration of the demons there still spewing out of this cave system. But it’s too stormy, and there's only so much fighting we could do on the ground against these demons who weren't even bothered by the winds howling around at us. Alec, and some other archers were doing what they could—"

"Alec was fighting?"

"Of course Alec was _fighting_ , Magnus; what'd you expect him to do? Stand there and take pictures?" Jace protested.

"I—"

"Anyway. A couple of warlocks appeared, started sending a ton of us back to the mainland to try attacking from there—though there was no formal word, or anything, no one coordinating the attacks. But by then so many of the demons had already disappeared, or were coming back around for a second attack."

"But Alec—"

"There’s no one to spare right now, Magnus, okay?" Jace said, voice raising in exasperation. "You don’t think I’d be out there looking for him myself if I—"

"So what do we do? What is the Clave doing?" Magnus urged, unable to stop panicking for Alec no matter how reassuring Jace thought his words.

"We’re regrouping," Jace told him with a determined grimace, "getting reinforcements. Sort of an all-hands-on-deck thing—"

"I thought it was already a—"

"Magnus," Jace said, cutting him off, and after hesitating slapping his hand against his upper arm. "We’re doing all we can, okay? We left some Shadowhunters behind to keep things running, but we’re gonna have to regroup, take more with us—from all Institutes involved. This fight’s not over yet, and I can’t see how it will be for a while."

"But Alec—"

"We’ll look for Alec," Jace said, nodding to a passing Shadowhunter clasping him on the shoulder and nodding for him to leave, "soon as we can. We’re not giving up on him, Magnus. But we’ve got too much going on right now to—"

But Jace’s words were cut off by a booming voice ordering the Shadowhunters present to prepare themselves, with more weapons than Magnus had ever seen there in the Institute grabbed up by everyone around him. He stood looking around him helplessly as they began to line up ready to leave, only able to offer a portal to get them to their destination.

* * *

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

_"This is good."_

_Magnus turns at Alec’s sleepy voice, smiling at the sight of him sprawled out on the sun lounger of the rooftop pool of their hotel room before dropping his head back and agreeing with a soft sigh. "It is."_

_"I’m sorry I delayed us getting away," Alec adds, and Magnus looks again to see Alec staring at him in contrition._

_"I understand, Alexander."_

_"You always do," Alec smiles, and there’s affection as well as guilt there dancing around his eyes._

_"It’s not your fault that demons keep adding to your workload," Magnus points out, unable to stop his eyes darting to the still-healing wound up the length of Alec’s arm. He can’t stop imagining the talons that must have ripped their way through Alec’s flesh, is relieved only to know no poison entered his bloodstream, and even that puckered scar that’s still delicate pink will soon fade away to next to nothing._

_"I know," Alec agrees. "Doesn’t mean I can’t feel bad for delaying our plans."_

_"You are more than patient when I have to do the same," Magnus points out, stretching languidly and flourishing his fingers to move the overhead parasol a little closer since the heat of the sun is getting too intense._

_"That’s not the point."_

_"It is," he insists, smiling as Alec stands and lopes the couple of paces between their loungers, straddles his thighs, and tentatively lowers himself into Magnus’ lap._

_"Magnus," Alec says, the word coming out in a huff of exasperation. But then he’s toppling forward in slow motion apparently aware of the weight of the two of them on that lounger, then bracing himself on the arms of it, and leaning in with a smile._

_Alec kisses the corner of his mouth, nips playfully at his chin, then brushes their lips together in a tease of a kiss that Magnus whines for after a couple of attempts, tilting his head up to catch him with a triumphant hum. Magnus sweeps his hands greedily up Alec’s sides to hold him in place, opening his mouth a touch when Alec flicks his tongue against the seam of it, sighing out in contentment as Alec begins to explore._

_Alec shifts a little for a better angle, and the lounger creaks in protest under their joint weight. He pauses for a second, watching Magnus lazily raise a hand and flare his fingers with a spell that braces the lounger against breaking, then resumes kissing him with renewed enthusiasm, beginning to rock his hips forward now he’s sure they won’t fall._

_"You think anyone can see us up here?" Alec asks, his voice already deepening with intent. Magnus’ stomach ripples in anticipation as he shakes his head, knowing there’s nothing even close to overlooking them at the angle they’re at, and slipping his hands down the back of Alec’s shorts in encouragement._

_"Why? What would you like them to see?"_

_"Magnus," Alec laughs, but then he's curling over a little, starting to mouth down his neck._

_"Yes, Alexander?"_

_"Nothing," he mumbles into his pulse point, adjusting his weight so he's braced on one arm, and rolling just enough to get his hand down between them, feeling out the shape of Magnus through his shorts._

_"That doesn't feel like nothing," Magnus teases, and Alec snorts into his neck, nosing against it in protest._

_"Shouldn't I be the one saying that?"_

_"You can say anything you want to say to me, Alec."_

_"I'm… I think I'm still ready. Open enough from this morning to… you know."_

_Alec's got his head tucked into Magnus' neck even as he's dipping his hand into his shorts to wrap his fingers around his cock. And because he's ducked down, when Magnus strains to see, the only evidence of Alec's embarrassment at his own words is the bright red helix of his ear. Magnus thinks about teasing him a little more to see if he can make that ear a shade redder, but then Alec's sweeping his thumb over his head, and the coolness rushing in from the swirling up of his precum exposed to the air has Magnus' attention, and the thought of Alec lowering himself on him right here in the open is making his stomach drop._

_"Will you ride me, Alexander?" he says softly, snapping his fingers so they're both naked, then resting his hand over Alec's ass and dipping slicked up fingers into him, to be sure he's open enough for him to._

_"Yeah," Alec says breathily, mouthing it into his neck, his own cock jolting hard against Magnus telling him just how much he wants to._

_Magnus sweeps his hands down Alec's back to wrap around his hips and encourages him to stand, then grips himself by his base to hold steady. He licks his lips, watching Alec lowering himself on to him and punch out a soft groan that echoes out around them, as Magnus arches up to meet him..._

Magnus jolted back from his daydreaming with a start, frantically snatching up his phone for its alert, and barely holding back his growl of frustration when the message was nothing that would bring him news about Alec. He jumped to his feet, pacing the apartment, even calling Alec’s phone again despite knowing it was pointless. And in a fit of temper with no idea of what else to do, portaled back to the Institute, intent on demanding answers.

Cancelling his morning appointments in favor of staying at home to brew potions and being available should anyone have anything to tell him about Alec had been both a good and bad decision. Good, because he couldn’t concentrate on much of anything else anyway, so would have been no use to any of his clients. And bad, because his mind kept wandering to thoughts of Alec, either in memory, or fear of what might have happened to him.

Magnus took in his bearings in the Institute once through the portal, finding it looking similar to a more typical day. Though the day was anything but typical; piles of more weaponry than Magnus had known was even stored in the Institute still dotted the main floor as it had done on his previous visit, and faces both familiar and unfamiliar passed by him unseeing, set into grim determination that did nothing to alleviate his fear.

A Clave representative that Magnus did not recognize stood where Alec should be standing, arms clasped behind his back in a similar gesture, wearing a stern enough expression to make Magnus feel sick. Magnus straightened his spine, slid behind a mask of confidence he begged not to crumble, and walked right up to his side, introducing himself before he could say a word.

"I’m surprised that the New York Institute allows Downworlders to move so freely within its walls," the man replied in greeting, looking Magnus up and down in blatant disgust.

"That would be the Downworld Cabinet in place to ensure a peace between all the citizens in this area," Magnus retorted stiffly. "An excellent and effective change implemented by Alec—"

"Yes, I know of your _association_ with Mr. Lightwood," the man said with utter disdain. Magnus thought about retorting, then thought about Alec being missing, and pushed the urge to one side.

"Please," he said softly, "I only want to know what is happening with the search for Alec. If there are any updates. If there is anything I can do, or—"

"During a mission of this size, we cannot prioritize searching for a soldier that is supposedly trained in how to protect themselves under all circumstances," the man snarled at him with an incredulous eyebrow that suggested Magnus had asked something outrageous. "When we are being besieged by a demon the likes of which we have never witnessed before in either living history or that recorded in our Lore, our priority is to neutralize that target; not look for a soldier who should know better than to fall behind."

"He’s not just a soldier," Magnus retorted, fists in tight balls down by his sides to control his temper, "he’s—"

"Head of the New York Institute, and reckless if he has abandoned those under his command," the Clave representative bit back at him looking even more incensed.

"But—"

"I would ask that you remove yourself from this Institute and not to return until such time as you are... invited."

"But—"

"This conversation is over, Mister Bane; unless you have anything of use to contribute, which I am certain you do not."

Magnus glared back at him, tears stinging his eyes, arguing with them hard against falling until out of sight, then snapped his fingers to conjure a portal just behind him, turning on his heel and making it back to the apartment before allowing himself to cry.

* * *

_Magnus’ heart is fluttering in his chest, and he wishes for not the first time that he hadn’t agreed to this evening. But it’s so important to Alec even if Alec’s not said as much out loud; when he’d casually suggested dinner with his parents there had been a spark of hope in his eyes, and even without it, there isn’t a thing Magnus would deny Alec._ _So he pulls unnecessarily at the navy velvet of his jacket sleeves, adjusts his favorite ear cuff that's of particular comfort in awkward moments like this, and fixes on an easy smile._

_He doesn’t feel easy, so very far from it; Idris on a cool, blustery evening outside the home of his boyfriend’s parents with what he thinks is curious eyes boring into the back of his head in passing, anchored only by the weight and warmth of Alec’s hand in his._

_"Don’t worry," Alec whispers, then pushes open the door and guides him inside, the heat rushing immediately at Magnus’ cheeks and surely flushing them red._

_"Hey. It’s us," Alec calls out, as though the two of them dropping in for dinner with the parental Lightwoods is a regular occurrence, and not a sign of the apocalypse currently waging in Magnus’ heart._

_"You’re here."_

_Magnus turns from beginning to unbutton his jacket to the sound of excitement in Maryse’s voice, catching the slight nervousness in her expression and oddly feeling relieved for it._

_"Hey, Mom," Alec says, ducking to drop a kiss to her cheek; far more natural and comfortable than the stiffness Magnus is used to seeing between them within the Institute._

_"I’m so glad you could come, Magnus," she says, turning towards him with a genuine though apprehensive smile._

_"As am I," Magnus replies, picking up the bouquet of flowers he's put down on a nearby table as he takes his jacket off, very definitely going overboard with how many he’d ordered, and carrying them by hand so his magic didn’t need to be witnessed. Not that he isn’t proud of it, of course, or that it isn't a normal thing to do to arrive at dinner with a bunch of flowers for the host; it’s just that in the presence of—_

_"Alec. Magnus," Robert calls, coming to stand in the doorway with a polite smile for them both. Alec mumbles a greeting back but doesn’t reach out to shake his hand, or hug him, or do anything that might border on affection._

_"It’s good to see you, Robert," Magnus says, trying to remember the neutral relationship he’d had with Robert when he was more present at the Institute, hoping that it’s enough to get him through the evening._

_"Likewise," Robert says, dipping his head a little. "Maryse made a ton of food; I hope you’re both hungry."_

_"Of course," Magnus agrees, even if his stomach is knotting and he’s not sure he can convince anything down his throat._

_"Thanks, Mom," Alec says once Robert has turned on his heel and disappeared again, and as he and Magnus follow her, Magnus recalls the few snippets Alec has shared with him about the relationship between Robert and Maryse. It’s strained, formal, and clearly nothing but for show. They live separate lives under the same roof and put on fake smiles whenever there is anyone else present. Magnus doesn't think that's a way he could ever live._

_Magnus even half-hopes Maryse doesn’t feel the need to put on any such kind of show with them this evening, a rare shard of sympathy for Alec’s mother insinuating its way into his heart._

_"Come through," Maryse says, and her smile returns to Magnus, leaving him sure she is pleading with him to give her a chance—if only for the sake of her son. So Magnus smiles back as winningly as he is able, accepts the glass of wine pushed into his hand by Robert once they’re through to the dining room, and prepares himself for an evening of awkwardness for the sake of Alec; who’s currently draped an arm loose around his waist as Maryse insists they don’t need to do anything to assist with dinner, and Magnus wishes he could tuck a little firmer into his side..._

"Maryse, I’m so sorry to call."

Magnus’ breath rattled in his throat waiting for reprimand, anger, or any number of other unpleasant reactions from Alec’s mother for calling in what felt the middle of the night. Rationally he knew it couldn’t be all that late, but since Alec had been gone, every moment seemed to stumble and crash into the next, so he couldn’t tell any one of them apart. And as he waited the few seconds he knew he would have to for Maryse to answer, he imagined all kinds of other things. The call being disconnected, Maryse refusing to tell him anything, hearing that his worst fears for what had happened to Alec were confirmed. Magnus held his breath pleading with Maryse to answer, pinching over his eyes so raw from lack of sleep and occasional giving in to the tears insisting on escaping.

"Magnus, I’m so glad you called."

Magnus’ eyes blinked open again immediately at the relief in Maryse’s voice.

"I didn’t—"

"I should have called you myself," she added, her voice full of guilt, and Magnus’ heart began racing for it.

"Do you know—"

"No, Magnus," she sighed, appearing to be walking then sitting down. "I have heard nothing. I keep calling and calling, and sending messages; I even portaled to the Minas Gerais Institute to speak to someone myself. No one is telling me anything, and the Institute there is in utter chaos, completely unmanaged. I thought perhaps they would have a more local base to where the rift occurred—the Ceará Institute, for instance, since Shadowhunters from there were the first to attend, and the ones to report it. But I was essentially told that I was unwelcome to even ask such questions; hindering their progress, I think was the exact phrase."

His stomach twisting in even tighter knots had Magnus stooping forward, but he forced his spine straight again, shakily fixed himself a drink one-handed, and carefully sat down in an armchair to continue their call.

"Do you know what happened? Or anything?"

"Only that the Ceará Institute was inundated, and that all the Institutes deemed most fit to attend were called in. And that even they were not enough; those further afield are being drafted in as we speak. I spoke to Jace briefly; he informed me that both Clary and Izzy are with him, but there is nothing else he can tell me."

"And there’s—"

"Magnus; truly, we have never faced an… _invasion_ like this before. I've been told that there are far more than just Alec unaccounted for, and that there is no time to discuss such things," she added, the bitterness and worry in her voice both comforting Magnus and making him fear even worse things. "Apparently it is too soon to declare anyone _missing_."

"What can I do?" Magnus asked, because sitting there helpless in their apartment and attempting to go about his normal routine was doing nothing to ease his mind or provide adequate distraction.

"Magnus," Maryse sighed, "at this stage, all I can suggest is that whatever wards you usually have in place at the Institute, and whatever further ones you can provide to shield the city; if I could, I would ask that you double your efforts for that. The Clave is in chaos; if you could assist in perhaps spreading the word to any other High Warlocks you know to do the same, we would be… in your debt."

"Why were we not asked sooner?" Magnus asked, standing once again and beginning to pace. "We had a meeting between the High Warlocks just two days ago, and we were told nothing about this."

"I'm sure the Clave has decided they could keep the situation contained by themselves," Maryse replied, further bitterness spitting out her words.

"And Marcia Cardoso? The warlock first attending? We were told she was taken to Idris."

"She was wounded severely. And she was… the demons at the rift, Magnus, they were… unlike nothing any of us were prepared for."

"Jace said no one recognized them."

"There must be countless species of demons we are yet to identify," Maryse agreed, though the worry in her voice just added layers of panic to all Magnus was already feeling.

"And Marcia? What happened?"

"I know very little. Only that she was injured—attacked by these demons, and drained of all her magic. That the first team of Shadowhunters returning to Idris for reinforcements after shielding her for as long as they could managed to carry her with them back through a portal arranged by another warlock. No one is giving any more information than that."

Magnus allowed himself a moment of doubting Maryse’s sincerity, of wondering if she was keeping things from him. But then he shook his head and chided himself for it, knowing despite their differences in the past she would not shield him from something if it was relating to Alec. "I’ll arrange the wards."

"Magnus," Maryse said, her voice becoming more urgent, "I don’t know what kind of wards you would normally use to protect us. But whatever you use, they will need to be powerful; the cities the demons have already breached have been decimated in places. We have reports of sightings by Mundanes, as well as of several that have been injured."

"It will be hard to ward against something we are yet to identify," Magnus replied, closing his eyes. "But we’ll… I’ll ensure we use our best defenses."

"If you can spread word to the other High Warlocks in other cities," Maryse urged, the tone of her voice shifting once more to something Magnus couldn’t quite identify, though left him wondering again why the Clave hadn’t been in contact already to ask for warlock help.

"I will," he said anyway, doing his best to smile into the call, "I’ll do all I can. Keep yourself safe, Maryse. And Max—and Robert."

"We will. I ask the same of you. Alec will not be happy when he comes back to find that you have strained yourself," Maryse told him, hope clinging to the edge of her voice as well as what sounded a lot like fighting back the urge to cry.

"We’ll get him back, Maryse," Magnus told her, firm as he could get the words out, then offered a few more comforting words and ended the call.

* * *

_"I could stay here all day."_

_Magnus turns his head to the side with a soft smile for Alec peering up at him over his folded arms, the crinkle of his eyes telling Magnus that he’s smiling back._

_"I wish you would," Magnus tells him, reaching out to sweep his hand up the back of Alec’s thigh then rolling closer, propping himself up on his elbow and resting a hand on the dip of Alec's back._

_"I can’t believe the weekend’s over already," Alec complains with a sigh, raising his head up just enough to ask for a kiss, and as it deepens a little he too shifts over on to his side, splaying his fingers at Magnus’ hip._

_"It has passed quickly," Magnus agrees, laughing as Alec nuzzles against him._

_"I kind of get why Clary complains about Mondays now."_

_"If only demonic activity would keep to a convenient Mundane nine to five schedule—"_

_"Magnus," Alec sighs in reproach, cupping his face and smiling at him as he rolls Magnus on his back, mouthing up his neck as he slots between his thighs._

_"They are most inconvenient," Magnus says anyway, sweeping his hands up Alec’s sides and arching beneath him as Alec begins a lazy stir of his hips._

_"Days like this, all I wanna do is stay right here in this bed with you," Alec says with a brief nod towards the rain splattering against the window, before giving Magnus his full attention once again._

_"I wouldn’t be complaining. Would you like to come here for dinner tonight?" Magnus asks, telling his stomach it isn’t clenching in hope. Alec is such a fixture in the loft now, that it echoes dull in the rarity of him being absent, and though Magnus has told himself repeatedly not to get in too deep, to keep things steady, and calm with Alec, one minute away from him already feels too long. Magnus tries to convince himself it’s because of the difference of mortality between them, but the way his heart sings for seeing Alec speaks of something else._

_"I’d love to," Alec says without pause, reaching down between them to squeeze and slot them together, smiling harder as Magnus arches at his touch, and bending to mouth up his neck again. "I mean, I don’t know what time I’ll finish—"_

_"Just message me when you are ready, Alexander. I will open you a portal; perhaps if you tell me what you would like to eat, I can have something prepared."_

_"You don’t have to do that, Magnus," Alec protests, but it’s only a soft one, nosing his way across Magnus’ cheek to claim his mouth, humming as Magnus begins rolling his hips in time with his own._

_"I know I don’t. But I’d like to."_

_"If you want, I can stay again. Here," Alec emphasizes with a quick nod at the pillows behind Magnus’ head. The hesitation in his glance is endearing, and Magnus surges up to kiss him, his heart beginning to race; not only for the way they’re stirring together trapped between their stomachs and Alec's fingers, but also for the realization that Alec really does want to be here with him just as much as he wants Alec to stay._

_"You rarely sleep at the Institute anymore," Magnus points out, and it’s a dance they’ve been doing for a couple of months now, acknowledging just how often Alec is in the apartment without mentioning what that might mean, or suggesting making things a little more permanent._

_"I can’t sleep at the Institute," Alec replies, circling a thumb against Magnus’ temple as he pauses from kissing him, adjusting to brace himself on both forearms and looking Magnus directly in the eye._

_"I—"_

_"That’s not true," Alec says with a quick shake of his head, "it’s… I can’t sleep without you, Magnus."_

_"As I can’t without you," Magnus blurts out without pausing, watching the delight brightening Alec’s eyes._

_"That’s… good, I think."_

_"That depends on how much sleep you need."_

_"I sleep better when I’m here with you, so even if I don’t get much, it’s still good."_

_"Then… perhaps you would consider moving the remainder of your personal items from the Institute to here," Magnus suggests before he can second guess his own words, holding his breath for Alec’s reaction and telling himself not to think the worst._

_"Like… move in? Here? With you?" Alec says, slow and stuttered as though he has to check exactly what he’s meaning._

_"There’s no one else living here—"_

_"C’mon, Magnus," Alec sighs in exasperation, though smiling the entire time._

_"Yes, Alexander," Magnus agrees with his hands coming to a stop around Alec’s waist, keeping him in place. "I would love it if you would move in here, with me."_

_"You would?"_

_"Of course."_

_"Then… I mean, I don’t have all that much," Alec says, his eyes wide with excitement, and his smile is so pleased, Magnus doesn’t think he’s ever seen him look quite so elated._

_"No, I suppose you don’t."_

_"So, if you wanted," Alec says, ducking his head for a second then forcing himself to look Magnus in the eye again, "if you wanted, I could… I could bring the rest of my stuff here with me, tonight."_

_"I would like that very much," Magnus smiles, his heart pounding in triumph. "And since I have no clients for a few hours, I can spare a little time to make you some closet space."_

_"Magnus—"_

_"Perhaps get a key cut. Purely symbolic, of course, since you—"_

_"Magnus," Alec says insistently, peppering kisses over his cheeks as he softly laughs._

_"Yes, Alexander?"_

_"I can’t wait," he says after a second’s pause, and the joy on his face is enough to convince Magnus he’s falling in love with Alec all over again in that very moment. He presses a hand wide on his lower back and rolls beneath him, arching up to be kissed._

_"I wouldn’t want to make you late for work," he whispers, though Alec shows no sign of planning on getting up._

_"They can live without me for a little longer."_

_"So I can convince you not to leave our bed for a few more minutes?"_

_Alec’s face lights up at the word ‘our’, and he gives a tiny nod before leaning down for another kiss..._

"Hey. Magnus, it’s Alec; he’s strong. Fast. Skilled. He’s a _soldier_ , Magnus; he’s trained for this kind of stuff."

Magnus closed his eyes, reluctant to let go of the memory keeping him company, then opened them again to settle on Luke’s understanding face, wishing his words could reach him.

Luke’s arrival at the loft had startled Magnus despite their plan to meet on Sunday afternoon. Magnus had showed him through in a daze, conjured food he could only pick at himself, as he filled Luke in on the details of the nightmare he’d found himself in the middle of since Alec had left on Wednesday.

Most of Saturday for Magnus had been an exercise in distraction, attempting to keep busy with menial tasks he usually used magic for, repeated calls to Izzy, Clary, and Jace that remained unanswered, and pacing a continuous circuit around the apartment, sure he’d soon begin to see the groove of his footprints back and forth seeping into the floor.

Magnus had spoken to Maryse twice more, coordinated wards to shield the city with other warlocks, and liaised with other High Warlocks to do the same. It had kept him busy, but not busy enough; Magnus stared back at Luke for several long seconds before his words sunk in, and several more before he could bring himself to answer.

"I don’t care if he is trained for _this kind of stuff_ , Lucien," Magnus replied eventually with an exasperated sigh. "I want him home."

"And he’ll _get_ home," Luke told him, injecting assurance into his voice that Magnus wished he could feel at least a little of.

"I knew this mission would—"

"Magnus," Luke tried again, crossing the room to gently grip his shoulder, and ducking until Magnus could lift his head to look back at him. "I know you’re worried; we all are—"

"Who’s _we_?" Magnus asked, shaking his head.

"The pack. You think after everything Alec’s tried doing for us since setting up the Downworld Cabinet, he’s not got at least a grudging respect from a lot of us? Most of us?"

"I’m not sure every Downworlder feels that way," Magnus sighed, thinking of the resentment Alec still faced despite his efforts.

"Yeah, well, a lot of us do," Luke insisted. "Not like he doesn’t constantly go up against the Clave on our behalf so many times. And besides all that; Alec’s become a good friend of mine. And Maia. Simon; even if Alec still—"

"He could work on a little more patience with Simon, I admit," Magnus said, holding up a hand in admission.

"Either way," Luke said with a small smile, "knowing he’s out there, and we don’t know where—"

"And that the Clave is doing absolutely nothing to find him," Magnus added, reaching up to pinch over his eyes in an attempt to remove some of the pressure there.

Just after midnight on Friday, when the tide had finally begun to turn for the Shadowhunters battling the unidentified demons, the Clave had declared a total of sixteen Shadowhunters missing, including Alec. There were still demons at large, and swarms of them had been reported over cities as far north as Canada, and stretching east over the African continent; but the coordinated efforts seemed to finally be paying off—though there was still a sense of chaos and misinformation everywhere Magnus looked. His repeated attempts to contact the Institute to see if there was any new information proved fruitless, and the one call that Jace answered was preoccupied, with him still in the field, and having nothing to say to put Magnus’ mind at ease.

Luke had been one of the first people Magnus had shared Alec’s absence with, sought comfort from along with the soothing words of Catarina. That Luke was echoing her sentiments and pleading with him not to be brash in his actions did not calm Magnus in any way, though it let him be still for a moment to consider what he was saying.

Luke sighing stopped Magnus’ mind wandering again, lifting his gaze from the floor to catch him grimacing enough to say he was doing his best to keep his own opinions about the Clave neutral, squeezing once again around Magnus’ shoulder. "They’ll find him."

"I’ll find him," Magnus replied, his heart thrumming harder for the realization; if the Clave couldn’t spare anyone to search for Alec, then he would search for him by himself.

"Magnus—"

"It’s been too long, Lucien," Magnus pleaded, needing him to understand him. "He could be somewhere wounded, or trapped, or—"

"You’re gonna make yourself sick, Magnus," Luke urged, and Magnus flinched away from his touch, going back to his circuit of pacing the apartment.

"I can’t just sit here and _wait_ for the Clave to bother—"

"If they’re still fighting back these demons, Magnus—"

"I can’t wait. I have to do _something_."

"You said it yourself; they don’t know what they’re facing with these demons. They’re probably just pouring all their efforts into that. Not that it’s an excuse for all the people who are missing, or injured, or we just don’t know anything about. These demons—"

"I don’t care about the demons, Luke," Magnus said, closing his eyes as a fresh wave of fear clenched his stomach. "I care about Alec. I need to get to _Alec_."

"At least… can’t you go to the Institute one more time? Before you do anything?" Luke protested, the concern in his voice bringing Magnus to a stop.

"I was told not to return until invited."

"Yeah," Luke agreed with a huff, "by some idiot from the Clave, who’s probably long gone by now. And besides; since when did you ever do anything anyone ever _told_ you to do?"

"Are you saying that I’m difficult?"

"I’m _saying_ that it’s not like you to just… give in to something like this. Do what you’re told—by people who have no right to tell you how to do anything," Luke added, raising an eyebrow.

"But Alec—"

"You think Alec’s not gonna be fighting just as hard to get back here? To you?" Luke pointed out, an eyebrow rising in the beginnings of exasperation.

"But if he’s injured. If he’s hurting—"

"Magnus," Luke urged, standing himself and stepping closer to stare him in the eye. "Go to the Institute. Hell, I’ll go with you. Let’s find someone who can tell us something, before you go and do anything… rash."

"It’s hardly _rash_ if I—"

"Where are you gonna start looking for him, huh?" Luke demanded, squaring his shoulders. "Do you even know where the guys from our Institute portaled to? Where they were fighting? If they moved on elsewhere? Where was Alec last seen, huh? They reported him missing, what; a little over 36 hours ago? Where from? Who was he with? You can’t just go looking for him blindly, Magnus; you know that."

Luke’s words filtered through the panicked fog clouding Magnus’ mind, the thought of being able to _rescue_ Alec clogging up the details of the where and the how. So he gave a stiff nod, even tried to put on a sickly smile for him, then walked behind Luke to snatch up a handful of food from the table and forced himself to eat.

"Fine; I’ll go to the Institute," Magnus relented, washing back that bland-tasting mouthful with a greedy swallow of water beforeturning to face Luke properly, debating his next move.

"I’ll come with you," Luke offered, squaring his shoulders and waiting for him to react.

"And if they are just as unwelcoming to you as they were to me—"

"Then we’ll portal straight back out again," Luke shrugged, nonchalance in his gesture that Magnus wished he could fake.

"I—"

"Not gonna be the first time someone from the Clave tells me somewhere I don’t belong," Luke added, nodding in encouragement as Magnus raised his hand to conjure a portal.

* * *

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

"I’m so glad you’re here."

Magnus lifted his arms belatedly to hug Izzy back, holding on to her tightly as she trembled against him.

"When did you get back?" he asked, reining in a fit of anger that she had returned to the Institute without returning his calls.

"Only a few minutes ago," she replied as she pulled back from him with a tired smile for both him and Luke, reaching into her back pocket to retrieve her cell phone for him to see the screen and casing cracked beyond repair. "Jace, Clary, and a few others are receiving medical treatment."

Magnus turned his head in the direction of her pointed finger, taking in what appeared to be a makeshift infirmary to one corner of the main Institute floor. The scene was chaos; exhausted-looking Shadowhunters propping themselves up wherever they could with steles poised over their skin, and those without injuries doing their best to help their colleagues, or cleaning or moving more weaponry that suggested they’d soon be leaving again.

"I’ll go see what I can do," Luke smiled, reaching out to squeeze Izzy’s shoulder before turning away, heading towards Jace.

"Alec?" Magnus asked, snatching his eyes back to Izzy and unable to focus on anything else.

"Magnus," she whispered, eyes bright with tears that left his heart pounding, "no one knows anything. No one’s seen him since that first assault."

"What happened?" he asked, torn between anguish for himself and wanting to comfort Izzy, who looked just as broken and lost as he felt himself.

"It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced," she said with a hard swallow, gesturing for him to follow her. "We walked through into basically an ambush. There were Shadowhunters everywhere; more than I’ve seen in my lifetime, and in such a small space. And there were just… so many of these demons, Magnus."

Magnus took in the horror in her voice and wondered what images were haunting her, though kept quiet as they made their way through the Institute hallways.

"And every time we pushed them back a little—which didn’t even start happening until we got back to the mainland—they seemed to come back with reinforcements; even with the rift closed. There was a guy from the São Paulo Institute about five feet from me, and he was just picked up like a twig and thrown. Broke his neck in the fall."

"Izzy—"

"And Alec was in my sight the whole time, for maybe an hour or so, leading the charge. Redirecting us and regrouping, guiding us to cover when he could. And the Mundanes; Magnus, the Mundanes could see everything. Every Shadowhunter, demon, weapon—everything. When this thing’s over, there’ll need to be some mass memory wiping. That wasn’t until we were off the island, of course, when I'd already lost sight of Alec, but I—"

"And there were Mundanes attacked?"

"So many of them," Izzy said, pointing to a doorway that Magnus recognized as the laboratory. "We couldn’t protect them, Magnus—"

"Izzy—"

"That’s our _job_ , our _mission_ ," Izzy added, determination setting her jaw as she crossed the small room to pick up a lab coat. "And we failed. These demons are… I don’t know what they are, Magnus; no one does. But they’re smart. Tactical. Worked together to cause maximum impact."

"Have you any idea on how many are injured?" Magnus asked, coming to stand beside her at the table central to the room, watching as she shook her hair free then massaged at her scalp for a moment before tying it tight again.

"More than we could count when we were still fighting."

"And Alec?"

"I don’t know, Magnus," Izzy sighed, frustration tainting her voice that Magnus thought was directed at herself. "One second he was there, knocking one of the demons right out of the sky with an arrow, and then he was gone. I thought I saw him pull out a seraph blade, but then I was attacked, and I—I didn’t see anything else."

Magnus closed his eyes, made himself count to five before any unkind or unmeant retorts could force their way out, then reached out to squeeze her shoulder. "What can I do to help?"

"You can help me attempt to identify the demon," she replied, pressing some buttons on a panel, then pulling on his arm so he would step back with her. In front of them a bright yellow light pulsed repeatedly before glass the length of the table began to advance and curve over it, trapping what appeared a moment later with Izzy pressing another button, raising the carcass of a demon inside.

Smooth, shiny skin the cover of garnet stretched taut over long thin limbs that put it at human height, with crumpled bat-like wings protruding from its back. Webbed feet and hands curled in on themselves like balled fists, and with slits for nostrils, white eyes that appeared bloodshot with ichor, and a wide, snarling mouth with still-glistening fangs, Magnus thought the demon laid out before him might be out of any Mundane nightmare.

"Do you recognize it?" Izzy asked, snapping on latex gloves and lifting a protective shield up over her mouth before pressing a button for the glass to retract, then reaching out with pincers to peel back the flesh of a wound, revealing the ichor oozing and the cracked bone behind it.

"I don’t," Magnus admitted, snapping on his own mask and gloves and beginning to inspect the demon himself. "Though I suppose someone must have heard of them somewhere."

"We have two Institutes from Brazil, plus here, and Cape Town attempting to identify the demons," she sighed, grimacing at another wound. "Perhaps collecting venom to prepare antidotes for those that have been bitten might do something to help."

"And we don’t know how many," Magnus said again, lifting a wing to turn it a little better to inspect.

"How many?"

"How many were bitten."

"Oh."

"Izzy—"

"No idea yet. And we have no idea how many demons there are either," she added with a hard sigh. "They poured out of the rift and scattered in all directions making the sky look like it was dusk. There was a report of unusual activity over Europe that I guess we can assume is these things. Magnus, they were everywhere. They still are, apparently."

"They’ve spread out far and wide," Magnus said, trying to recall the images from some of his oldest books on demons and unable to think of a single one matching what he was seeing.

"They have."

"How were they attacking?"

"They bit, clawed, picked up and threw people. Nothing stood out as different from any other demon attack; nothing to identify them with, anyway."

"Do you think it was sheer numbers that overpowered you?" Magnus asked, hoping Izzy wouldn’t take offense.

"Perhaps. Perhaps their strength; to kill one took either direct blows or arrows to this spot here on their necks," she said, pointing out the evidence of repeated strikes that had almost decapitated the demon, leaving Magnus picturing the effort it would have taken and how much strength it would have needed. "And because they worked together—"

"An attack on one would have been defended by a number of them," Magnus finished for her, with an image of a solitary Shadowhunter being approached by a group of the demons and trying hard not to imagine Alec in that position.

"Mom said she spoke to you. About wards for the city," Izzy said then, stepping back and snapping off her gloves, lifting the shield from her face and leaning back against a nearby table with a tired sigh.

"Yes."

"She sent a fire message to a number of Institutes telling them she'd asked you to coordinate warding. Word got out."

"Is that… bad?" Magnus asked, removing his own gloves and mask and coming to stand by her side.

"Only because the Clave failed to do it officially, and first. The High Warlocks from Bolivia and Argentina have been supporting the Minas Gerais Institute with ensuring there are wards protecting all of South America since their warlock is still in Idris."

"How injured was she?" Magnus asked, not able to totally trust the Clave.

"She was bitten," Izzy told him with a grimace. "I heard there are three High Warlocks with her there attempting to heal her."

"That’s… something."

"We will have a lot of work to do when this is over, Magnus. Relations between Downworlders and Shadowhunters. Protecting the Mundanes—"

"The same work we always have," Magnus smiled, though put little effort into it, thinking only of Alec and how they still knew nothing at all.

"Do you think you could do something to the wards over the city? To shield the Mundanes so they can’t see the demons?"

"I will," Magnus promised, "we are already doing all we can. Though surely there can’t be that many left?"

"Magnus," Izzy said, closing her eyes and slumping, "watching them first fly over, it was like the sky was covered in a blanket of red. Like it was a churning, constant cloud. It’s thousands of them. Tens, maybe hundreds of thousands. That they haven’t been reported across the entire world yet is either a miracle or naivety."

"I’ll… put word out."

"And we will find my brother," Izzy said then, determination and her own promise there in her voice. "I don’t know how much longer we’ll be fighting, or when the Clave will spare Shadowhunters to start looking for all those missing. But we will find him."

"We will."

"Jace says he can still feel him through their parabatai rune," Izzy added, with a softer smile Magnus thought was intended to comfort him.

"That’s… good."

"It’s all we have right now," Izzy said, closing her eyes again, and her lip beginning to tremble. Magnus swallowed back the lump in his throat and wrapped her up in his arms, holding on tight.

* * *

_"How many sunsets have you sat and watched, Magnus?"_

_Alec follows his words up with a kiss to Magnus’s shoulder, hooking his chin over it once more as he holds him secure in his arms._

_"More than I can count," Magnus replies, leaning back against him as they stand at the edge of their terrace watching the sun dip lower behind the horizon and dusk set in all around. "Though perhaps not as many as I should have paid attention to."_

_"Guess it’s something we take for granted," Alec says, with a kiss this time pressed to his temple before a soft sigh tickles Magnus’ ear and leaves him smiling to himself._

_"More so, for me, I suppose, since there have always been so many sunsets in my future," Magnus says, and for the first time in what feels like centuries, the thought of an endless future doesn’t seize him with a sense of loss._

_"If it was just sunsets to look forward to—actually, I don’t know if that makes it better or worse," Alec laughs, squeezing him a little tighter._

_"You can change your mind," Magnus says again, telling himself not to hope too hard for it. "You can change it at any time."_

_"I know that," Alec agrees softly. "I mean, I don’t think I’m going to. But I know I can."_

_"I love you, Alexander; whatever you decide. Whatever you choose."_

_"I choose you, Magnus," Alec says, turning him in his arms and gripping lightly at his waist, smiling so full of happiness Magnus is helpless but to echo it._

_There is no set date, and there’s not even anything resembling a plan for it, but this night of lengthy discussion as the sun has slipped across the sky has given Magnus new reason to be hopeful. Because for the first time in his life, someone is choosing him; choosing to remain by his side._

_Sometime in the future—possibly even in just a few short years from now, Alec wants to become immortal; for him. He’s not the only reason; Alec has emphasized that more times than Magnus can count—possibly for every time he’s been swept up in guilt for it. But Alec’s hopes for the Shadow World and the security of those he loves is also a draw; even if one day they will all leave him, and Alec will have to build new relationships all over again. It’ll be worth it, Alec has told him, to spend a life by his side, to raise a family with him and watch them grow; that Alec’s got so much of their future already mapped out settled something in Magnus’ heart the first time he mentioned it._

_But tonight, all the talks they’ve both had and avoided in the past about Alec’s mortality have come to a head, in the best kind of ways. Magnus is fairly sure his heart might beat out of his chest in happiness for Alec’s tentative, tear-filled promise to him that he does want a forever with him. They’ve just to settle on the when, so they can properly work out the how._

_Magnus is excited like he’s sure he’s never been excited before. And fearful; not that Alec might change his mind, really, but for anything that could be an obstacle between then, and now. Not that he’ll rush Alec, of course; it’s just that it would be a cruelty beyond words to snatch Alec from him now he’s got him for forever. Magnus curses under his breath for even allowing such a maudlin thought on this most perfect of evenings and wriggles even tighter against Alec’s chest._

_"Will you forgive me if I wrap you up in cotton wool for an indefinite period?" he teases, catches the laughter in Alec’s eyes before he ducks down for a kiss._

_"Magnus," Alec whispers, brushing their lips together, "how many times have you accused me of doing that with you?"_

_"Maybe once or twice," Magnus replies, raising a hand to cup his face._

_"Just once or twice?"_

_"Alexander," Magnus huffs, pretending to be indignant, but he can’t. Not for the joy that’s written over Alec’s face, the warmth of him there in his arms, and an endless stretch of future awaiting them full of surprises. Magnus turns once again in Alec’s arms and huffs with contentment as he settles back against him, and together they watch the last of the dying sun..._

Magnus looked up at the soot-colored sky and allowed himself to sag forward, the strain of replenishing the wards over the city with an additional layer to prevent the Mundanes seeing the last lingering demons beginning to take its toll.

A further week had passed, and in that week the number of demons sweeping across the globe had reduced in number, though not enough to bring any of the Institutes involved back to their normal operations. An additional six even had to join the mission because of the number of injuries sustained, and the sheer exhaustion of those Shadowhunters involved.

The number of missing Shadowhunters rose to thirty-two, then reduced officially by six as one had found her way to an Institute from the rift, and five bodies found huddled together on the shore just north of the nearest port to the attack put the death toll at six. But there was no word of Alec; not a sighting of him or even a near miss of identification for those picked up. Magnus’ heart felt like it had permanently moved to lodge in his throat, and his own exhaustion from not sleeping added to that drained feeling from the ward maintenance, only getting two full nights of sleep when that exhaustion took over, leaving him falling asleep mid-making potions while propped up on the couch.

Izzy had called as often as she was free, back in the Institute for just two days before being called back to rejoin the mission. Clary came to visit Magnus at the loft one evening before she too had to leave, accompanying Jace, who Magnus felt was an unwanted lifeline with his constant reassurance he could still feel Alec.

 _"He’s out there, Magnus,"_ Jace had said to him when Magnus had raised his voice in worried anger, barely holding back from reaching out to grab him by the shirt and shake him for his laid-back attitude. _"I mean it feels different, but I know he’s okay. I know he’s alive."_

 _"What does ‘different’ mean?"_ Magnus remembered demanding, his mind already conjuring a multitude of awful possibilities.

_"Just different, okay? You think I don’t want him back too, or something, huh?"_

Magnus had kept the thought to himself that Alec had seemed far more concerned about finding Jace than Jace seemed to be about finding Alec in the past, reasoning that the situations were entirely different and that his view would be seen as biased.

Both Catarina and Luke had checked in on him daily, with even Raphael showing a modicum of concern for Alec that Magnus half-wanted to mock him for. But whoever called, sent messages, or even showed up at the apartment unannounced could do nothing to ease the fear in Magnus, or reduce the helplessness he felt.

If it wasn’t for needing to help maintain the city’s wards, Magnus would have been out looking for Alec himself, despite his promises to both Luke and Catarina to wait. He’d gleaned as much information as he could from Izzy, Clary, and Jace, pulled up maps of the region the rift had opened in to attempt to work out where to start to look. Magnus had even tried a spell that would let him track Alec to no avail; like Jace, he could get a sense of Alec being _somewhere_ but had no way of pinning a location down.

Magnus thought of the clients lined up to meet with throughout the following week, the potions he hadn’t got around to finishing, and all the other things he was putting off doing just in case Alec was found. _When_ he was found, Magnus corrected immediately, scolding himself for even allowing a second of doubt. But positive thinking and keeping himself buoyed only worked for so many hours of the day, and Magnus’ shoulders slumped unconsciously, a sob punching out his mouth that he covered seconds later with his palms, tears stinging his already-raw eyes.

"Alexander," he cried out, stifling a further sob and making his way back inside the apartment, sweeping a glance over the unfinished potions, the pile of laundry he’d yet to fold away into their closets, and the photo frame of he and Alec on the wall that he came to a stop in front of, pleading with him to come back.

* * *

 


	5. Chapter 5

"I think another day, and we’ll get the all clear to get back to normal. Maybe figure out a way to start looking for Alec."

Almost two weeks after the official announcement of Alec being missing, and the Shadowhunters of the New York Institute had finally been relieved of duties to go back home. Izzy called Magnus to the Institute the moment she’d returned herself, and was waiting for him the second he stepped through the portal.

Magnus’ last week had been frantic, so tautly wound that the slightest sound around him had him leaping from his skin, poised as though ready to strike out at everything. Izzy’s first words once he’d pulled back from her welcoming hug both knocked the strength from his knees for the relief he was feeling, yet punched anger in his gut for further delays.

"Is it customary for the Clave to… abandon their own people like this?" Magnus retorted, certain of the answer without having to wait for a response.

"This is an unusual situation, even for us," Izzy sighed, directing him towards a table and sinking down gratefully, looking just as exhausted as Magnus felt.

"But still—"

"Magnus," Izzy said, her eyes pricking with tears, "I don’t know what Alec’s coming back to. I don’t know what we can do to help."

"Isabel," Magnus soothed, reaching out to clasp her fingers and holding on until she offered a watery smile. "What’s happened?"

"Nothing," Izzy said, ducking her eyes and staring at her hands in her lap, "nothing yet. It’s just, with everything that’s happened, there’s talk of the Clave reorganizing the Institutes. They’re talking of splitting up teams, reorganizing the Heads of Institutes, and—"

"They’ve had time to discuss a possible reshuffle, yet can’t spare the time to look for their own people?" Magnus retorted, horrified though not surprised.

"There’s talk of the mission not being as organized as it could have been—which we both know is an understatement. And that the Clave are saying the Heads of Institutes involved haven’t been adequately overseeing those under their command."

"Alec."

"And the others," Izzy agreed, though the look she gave him said she had other thoughts about the Clave’s accusations.

"Izzy—"

"The entire mission is going to be reviewed; it's now the Clave's top priority. Every Institute involved is going to be overhauled."

"Why is this a priority over people missing?"

"It isn’t; not for us," Izzy replied, shaking her head. "But the Clave—"

"The Clave is doing what it always does. Looking after itself," Magnus retorted, feeling sick with fury.

"Magnus," Izzy said softly, eyes darting out around them, "this whole thing has been such a disaster, but we have—it feels like they’ve been looking for an excuse."

"An excuse for what?"

"Magnus," Izzy whispered, looking back at him apologetically, "this is the only Institute in North America that insists on the level of equality we have with the Downworld. They're… the way the Clave views Downworlders—"

"You think Alec is being punished?" Magnus suggested, sitting up straight.

"I think… that’s part of it," Izzy admitted, looking even more sorrowful. "But our Downworld Cabinet—"

"Is not the only Downworld Cabinet in the world," Magnus finished for her, his heart beginning to pound.

"But it is the most successful in the world."

"If it’s so successful—"

"Magnus."

"The Clave wants to reclaim its control of the Downworld." Magnus said, the truth of his own words dawning on him and making him feel ill.

"And the New York Institute with its Head of Institute missing in action is a great place to start." Izzy finished for him, her expression both loathing and incensed. "Magnus; this isn't good for any of us."

Magnus had no idea what to think.

"And when we get Alec back here. And he’s safe. Recovered, of course. What then?" Magnus demanded, despite knowing Izzy could tell him nothing more.

"Then Alec will fight his—o _ur_ corner, as he always does. But until then—"

"Until then, everything Alec has worked for is in jeopardy."

* * *

The call from Izzy two days later came as no surprise to Magnus, already preparing for the confirmation that the Clave had no intention of looking for Alec by making his own plans. He cut Izzy off mid-sentence, ending the call even as she’d been trying to say they’d find their own way to look for Alec. His eyes swept over the maps spread out over the coffee table in front of him, his fingers reaching out to tap over the point he was planning on portaling to.

Magnus had thrown himself into work to double up on appointments, both to distract himself from Alec being missing, and to clear his schedule for the inevitability of having to leave; though even without such careful planning there was nothing to delay him in searching for Alec the moment he knew for certain there was no other choice. Magnus snatched up various ingredients and a couple of potions that he thought he might need to find Alec, and also to treat him should he be wounded, reminded himself with determination that he would _find_ Alec, and that he would find him _alive_ , then conjured a portal, gave a final glance around the apartment, and left.

Magnus’ first impression when arriving on the island where he expected to find Alec was the blast of humidity that hit his skin as a storm whipped up around him. The darkening of the sky overhead seemed in tune with the tension that Magnus was sure was running through his every vein, an approaching gust filling the air with a hint of electric that had his hair raising to stand on end.

Thinking of Luke’s advice to scour the region of where the rift was supposed to have opened, Magnus swept his eyes over the ground in front of him to get his bearings, then stumbled forward looking for anything that stood out. After a short time of pacing aimlessly, he noted the fresh seal in the ground sweeping in a crude arc leading away from him, tapping at it with the toe of his shoe and relieved that it seemed solid. He squatted to inspect it, sweeping his hand along it then pressing it flat over the healed crack, then stood once again to carefully follow along its edge.

Another gust of wind had him stumbling backwards, but he barreled through it, following the crack giving way to a pile of jumbled rocks that were teetering mid-tumble into a small crevice. And inspecting that with a beam of light conjured from his fingertips Magnus discovered led to a precarious path down the side of a deep cave.

Magnus blasted the rocks covering the entrance with frantic sweeps of magic from his palms, peering inside when he was sure he’d cleared enough to be able to fit through. And with a grit of his teeth and a shield of magic around him in case he slipped as he made his way down, Magnus entered the cave, adamant that it was where he would find Alec.

* * *

_He’s late. He’s really late._

_Magnus stares at his phone screen willing it to ring, or to see a notification appear, and steps out on to the balcony to gulp in fresh air when neither happens._

_Alec’s last message was three hours ago, and Magnus had thought his promise that he was on his way home would mean he’d see him in under an hour, not still be waiting all this time later without word._

_Magnus tries not to replay the noise he’d heard behind Alec the last time he’d spoken to him; earlier this morning just as Magnus’ day was starting, and Alec had been fighting for most of the night. He reminds himself that Alec and his team from the New York Institute are only assisting with a demon breach in Philadelphia, which should mean whatever that awful noise that sounded like a roar of thunder was, was under someone else’s control._

_Alec’s text message was short, but Magnus has clung to it like a lifeline ever since first reading it, regularly thumbing it open and desperately trying not to look at the passing time. But Alec isn’t here, and by now, surely he should be, Magnus thinks, worry putting brightness in his eyes as he stares out over the city then heads back inside._

_He’s just about to fix himself a drink when his phone notifies him of a message, and Magnus gasps to himself, immediately creating a portal. Alec stumbles through seconds later, crashing to his knees in a tired heap. There are wounds to heal, and words to speak, but right then Magnus has him home, relief flooding through his veins for the solidness of Alec there in his arms..._

Alec.

Magnus’ heart thrummed in protest, rushing forward at the sight of Alec curled tight in a ball on his side, falling to his knees in the dirt and pleading with Alec repeatedly not to have already left him. He reached out to grip his upper arm, unable to tell if he was warm or cold for the layers of clothes between them and the rigid set of his limbs, and had to fight back the tears that prevented him from speaking.

"Alexander," he croaked out, gripping a little harder, then easing Alec over on his back, _please, please, please wake up_ repeating in his head.

Alec moved easily at his touch, arm splaying across the dirt as he moved him, legs stretching out, relieving Magnus immediately for the evidence of no rigor mortis locking his spine. And then Alec began to stir, his head moving from side to side in the dirt, fingers flexing then reaching out to grasp on to something. Magnus immediately offered his hand.

Alec stopped shifting the second their skin made contact, and the warmth of Alec’s palm against his own choked a held back sob from Magnus’ throat. Alec squeezed his fingers once, then once again, and his brow first dipped into a frown of confusion, then startled up in surprise. And that unsettled feeling that had been Magnus’ constant companion for however long it had been by then soared into stronger existence, leaving him holding his breath as Alec slowly cracked open his eyes.

"Magnus?" he whispered, his voice parched with thirst and broken from lack of use. "Magnus. Is that you?"

Magnus fell forward with a wail, dropping his head down on Alec’s chest in relief, holding tight on to his hand, and sobbing softly as Alec’s free fingers slotted through the back of his hair.

"Magnus," Alec tried again, a little clearer, and Magnus was draping himself around him, tucking himself into Alec at every point he could. Not interested in the dirt beneath him, the unknown beyond where they laid, or anything else at all; far too relieved to have Alec there with him to have room for anything else.

But instinct had Magnus gasping to himself in realization just a few seconds later, slowly lifting his head, and pulling back just enough to be able to look at Alec properly. Recognition soared in his blood, leaving his heart beating frantic and out of rhythm, but not for the man sprawled out beneath him; rather for what was surging through Alec in place of where his angel blood used to be.

* * *

 

 

 


End file.
